Just gotta get started   Leave a comment

So many things to do today. Bible study and prayer. Start my 6 week exercise thing. Write. Walk. And I don”t feel like doing any of it. This is about as busy as I’d like to be today. Typing some junk and then watching TV. Actually, this is probably directly the reason why I am 50 lbs. overweight.

And that’s why things have to change today. This is the day. Not next week, not tomorrow. Today. Don’t worry, there will be plenty of daylight left when you get done. And the beauty of it is that you are doing part of it right now.

The next part should be Bible study and prayer. I feel like going home, but if I do that right now, I will turn on the TV, and then I’m finished for the day. TV can come later. Right now, the other stuff has to happen.

So, welcome to “other stuff” part 1.

Things on my mind. I picked up this FM transmitter for my phone, or whatever music apparatus I’m using, to pipe it to an FM radio. It was only $8. It was worth every penny of it. Or not. The signal isn’t much, unless it’s right next to the unit it’s transmitting to. It wouldn’t work from across the room. It doesn’t work well, even right next to it.

I think I like bluetooth much better. Just can’t afford that right now. It isn’t worth the effort most of the time, like when I’m driving. The original idea was to be able to listen to my ogg’s in the car while I drive, and it’s more hassle than it’s worth, most of the time. I really need a car radio that is bluetooth capable. That would solve a lot of problems. I think.

On the other hand, maybe what I’m trying to solve isn’t actually what the problem is. Thirty years ago, the way to get it done was to record it on cassettes and then plug them into the player. Shoot, 30 years ago, I turned on the radio and just let the DJ worry about what plays. Sometimes, I think that’s better. Sometimes, not so much.

The reason this technology exists, after all, is, for one thing, because we don’t want the suits informing the DJ’s of what we are supposed to like. Well, anyway, that’s why I like it. There are probably other reasons for other people, but for me, it’s about taking control of my own stuff.

Like, for instance, my sister doesn’t like Billy Joel at all. She might have, at one time, but that was way back before they played his stuff to death on the radio. I always kind of felt like he was a welcome addition to the soundtrack, but not really what it’s about for me.

In my collection, I have 3 songs by Billy Joel. One is Captain Jack, a good song that’s about 7 minutes long, and never heard on mainstream radio. He wasn’t willing to cut it down to a 3 minute single, and therefore it was played only on Album-Oriented Rock stations, but not often. I guess I heard it once or twice in the 80’s on QFM and just stumbled onto it a few years ago on a greatest hits album he had. The other two songs are off “The Art of McCartney,” a tribute album by various artists, doing Paul McCartney songs. One is “Live and Let Die,” and the other one is “Maybe I’m Amazed.” Those two were done by him a couple years ago. His voice isn’t quite the same, considering he’s 68 years old now. Still sounds good, but he sort of growls in places where he might not have before.

So, anyway, I guess I’ll publish this one. Just to make sure the blog continues. Time to move on. Later.

Posted May 22, 2017 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

Well, Hello, Again!   2 comments

I have felt sorry for myself for plenty long enough. My granddaughter is not presently in my life. I would like for her to be, but her mother (whom I used to refer to as my daughter-in-law, back when I claimed her as part of my family) has decided against that.

I am going to keep praying over the situation, and God will prevail. I am aware that I need to work on my attitude. She has made some pretty nasty claims about me. Part of me says, “The day will come that she will suffer the consequences…” and yet, I don’t really wish for her to suffer. I just want her to truly be sorry for what she has done to me. To see the error of her ways, and offer a heartfelt apology to me for hurting me and maligning my name. I’m sure that’s possible, but it seems like it’s in another universe right now.

I’m not sure this is what I want to publish. I think it may be too personal. Maybe that’s what this blog is supposed to be: personal. But, right now, I can’t see anything objectively. I have written a lot of stuff over the past year, and published next to none of it. There’s personal, and then there is private. It isn’t that I am ashamed of what I put down. But on the other hand, I don’t really want to pour my guts out online, either.

But, God, I miss Gracie.

==============================================================================

Okay, so anyway, it’s time for me to start publishing again. I won’t accomplish anything in this area unless I just do it. We will worry about whether it’s smooth, or appropriate, or relevant, or whatever, at a later date. Usually, what I write is relevant to someone. Even if it seems to matter only to me, it usually resonates with someone else, too. Maybe not everybody, but somebody.

There have been times when I felt like I talk about stuff that is too deep and personal for anyone to relate to or even give a damn about. I can’t think of what that would be, and maybe this is one of those times.

All I know for sure is that it has been nearly a year since I have posted anything to this blog, and I really would like to do something with it. Hence, this posting, which I am going to put out there.

Let’s see, what else is there?

Oh, I have another blog, which I haven’t done anything with for a year and a half. The original idea was that I would lose a bunch of weight in the winter. When spring came and I didn’t lose it, I kind of gave up. I subsequently got caught up in other things, it lost it’s “umph,” if it ever really had any in the first place.

Anyway, I’m going to rename it, and start it again. Now it’s springtime and I want to accomplish something in the next 6 weeks. I doubt I will ever have a “swimsuit” body, at 58 years old, but I will be healthier and thinner and stronger than I have been in a long time. And, you never know. I might surprise myself with what I actually accomplish.

I am at my son’s house right now, and left all my stuff at home pertaining to what I plan on doing, with the exercise and diet and everything. When I get home, I will go over it and start publishing on the other blog, under a different title.

So, right now, I’m out of here. Later.

Posted May 15, 2017 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

A Public Service Announcement   Leave a comment

The following is a public service announcement, provided by the Council for Breakfast Yumminess.

For decades, we have been told by the “experts” that the caffeine in coffee was detrimental to our health, that bacon has “too much salt,” whatever that means, and that egg yolk is loaded with cholesterol. What we haven’t been told is that the benefits from these food items far outweigh the potential, supposed harm they do to us. There is a reason why these nutritional secrets have not been revealed before now.

Let’s start with coffee. Yes, it does contain caffeine. But, it’s a special nutient, known as caffeine A*, found only in coffee and tea. And, certain carbonated beverages and energy drinks. You should avoid the other type of caffeine, which is called caffeine B. It raises blood pressure.

Many people assume that the salty taste of bacon is actually an indication that bacon has salt. This couldn’t any more false. It is all a fabrication, created by the anti-bacon lobby. In actuality, it is a result of the secret super-nutrient known as sodium baconite. Many people go for the low sodium variety of bacon. This is a mistake, as sodium baconite contains many of the vitamins and minerals that actually make bacon a beneficial addition to any healthy person’s diet*.

Finally, we need to dispel the rumor that egg yolk is bad. It really isn’t. But, not only that, the yolk of the egg contains the mega-nutrient, yolkasaurus rex. That a working term for the nutrient, because the distinguished gentleman who invented discovered it hasn’t thought up found the (already existing*) name for it, yet.**

The mavens of the breakfast world would have us to believe that a bowl of straw and pebbles with skim water is the only suitable breakfast. Remember, it’s all about money*. They can say there is no conspiracy, because it’s only a conspiracy to those of us who object to it.

*You have my word.

**The author of the preceding announcement is generally far more articulate, but the importance of the message demands that we get the word out now, not after somebody gets around to editing it.

You’re welcome.

Posted July 21, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

Okay, it really has been a while, now.   Leave a comment

And, it isn’t that I’ve forgotten.  I have an alarm that goes off every day at 8:02 am, to remind me that it’s time to write.

It is more that Grace gets up at 7:00 now, instead of  10:00, when I chose to get her out of her crib. She sleeps in the big girl bed, now, and stays in bed just in the spirit of cooperation. And decides that 7:00 is the time to start the day. Not that I would argue with that. I sleep in on some days, and don’t get up until 7.

But, it is hard to spend a lot of time writing when there is 28 month old running around. I love her, endlessly, but somebody knew what they were talking about when they coined the phrase “terrible two’s.” Hurricane Gracie hits daily and doesn’t let up until she drops of exhaustion at something around 2 pm. And I’m on storm patrol 5 days out of 7.

You may not be able to tell from reading it, but I am grateful for the time I can spend with her. It’s one of the reasons I’m glad to have retired. I never got to take this opportunity with my son, and probably would have been too busy either wondering when I’ll sleep or worrying about finding a job, to really take advantage of it. That’s why I think this is a  pretty unique time in my life.

And I’m kind of concerned. I am 57 years old, 45 lbs. overweight, and busy 14 hours most days building my life around a 2 year old. I really need to get out and walk, lift some weights, and swim. I have a membership at the Y, to do it. But, I don’t get to use it much lately.

Jamey works 70 hours a week this time of the year. Kim is  off on Sundays and Jamey is off sometime during the week, usually Tuesdays or Wednesdays, but it’s hard to predict which one or whether it’s another day or maybe not at all.

I think the answer is to find somebody to split shift with me. Somebody to sit from 6 am to 1, at which time I could take over. Or maybe I could work mornings and she could work afternoons.

That would be nice, except that evenings is when I get to spend time with my kids. It’s cool to spend time with their kids, but I also want to see my kids. (Kim is one of my kids, too, since she’s married to my son.)

The other solution would be to take turns working whole days. Except that I don’t know who would want to spend 14 hours chasing kids around, that aren’t theirs. It would be fine with me if she did. But I think shifts would be better, and a lot more likely to happen, too.

Anyway, I will have to talk to them about that. I really need this. If it doesn’t happen, I’m afraid I won’t have much time to spend with Grace in the future. I have to get healthy, and stay healthy. I lost both my parents when they were in their 60’s, and I would like to last a little longer than that. See my granddaughter graduate, get married, and bring her own kids to see me.

That isn’t too much to ask, is it?

Posted May 23, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

It’s WHAT time???   Leave a comment

It is 3:20 am. I am testing out my theory from yesterday. I didn’t mean to get up at 3:20 am but I’m here. So, I am writing. I’m writing about the fact that I am writing, but I’m writing. I’m still deciding whether or not I’m going to blog this, but in case I do, let me explain…

I have been writing at (tentatively) 7:50 am, at which time Ronnie gets on the bus, and Gracie was sleeping until 10 when she was in her crib. (Grandkids I am presently babysitting) Now she’s in her “big girl” bed, and gets up at about 8:30. Consequently, I don’t start writing until after 2 pm, when she goes down for a nap. If then.

Yesterday, I didn’t start until Ronnie got home, which was another thing altogether. Once he got settled in, with a snack and TV, I was good to go, for a while. But, by then, I was just writing to be writing, and not really saying anything. Not that I am required to say anything, because I can’t count on always having something to say. But, there is a difference between morning nothing, which usually has some nugget in it that makes it all good, and afternoon nothing, which really is nothing, except fluff to fill a page.

So, today, since 7:50 no longer works, and 6:30 is the time Ronnie usually gets up, I would have to start before 5, in order to do anything worthwhile. (Of course, “worthwhile” is a subjective term for me, when it comes to my writing. What seems like a masterpiece to me, would possibly bore the socks off anybody that wasn’t me.) But, I have to say that I am enjoying this a lot more than I did yesterday afternoon.

I will probably fall asleep before I finish this, because 3 am is basically the middle of the night. That used to be the time I wandered home after a night of doing karaoke. Now, it’s when I’m getting up. Or it was today, anyway.

Do I like this better? Yes, I would have to say I do. I feel like I’m accomplishing something. It isn’t earth-shattering, but it is something. Back in the day previously mentioned, I was lonely, bored, occupying my mind with crap that really wasn’t worth all the thought I was putting into it, and not doing anything beyond making it through another day. I would like to have been doing what I’m doing now, then, because I probably would be a pretty successful writer by now. I didn’t even think along the lines of writing back then.

Maybe that’s a good thing. Just because what I’m doing is good for today doesn’t mean that what I was doing then wasn’t good for then. I don’t know. I enjoyed my life then. Some of the circumstances could have been better. But, then, the same could be said for now. I wouldn’t want to be without my Gracie. I am retired at 57. I kind of like that. I don’t know what my life would be like now if I had done things differently then. But, I know I’m happy now. If it took 55 years to get this way, then that’s how long it took.

It is now 5:00 am. I’m trying to fill a page. I don’t know if that’s necessary, but for me, if I don’t set some kind of standard, I will accomplish nothing. I know this from decades of setting nearly no standards (because, theoretically, standards held me back from accomplishing things.)

This is another one of those moments where I wish 57 year old me could go back and have a discussion with 27 year old me. Partially, because I really miss the 80’s, but mostly because I would like to impart some of my vast wisdoms to him/me. (That’s kind of sarcastic, but not entirely.) But, I think it would go something like this:

(57) Hey, dude.

(27) Hey, what’s up? Do I know you from somewhere? You look familiar.

(57) Yeah, I do got it goin’ on, don’t I?

(27) Huh?

(57) Never mind. Wrong decade. Listen, I came here to tell you some things that I wish I’d known 30 years ago.

(27) And, you think I’ll listen?

(57) You should. I’m you at 57.

(27) Oh, that’s where I recognize you from. Yeah, there’s a pretty good looking guy underneath all that grey hair and extra weight.

(57) Yeah, isn’t there, though? Look, obviously you can’t tell anybody that I’m here. Everybody would think you’re a whack job.

(27) Yeah, and they probably wouldn’t be too far off. This is weird.

(57) Okay, well it’s not something I get to do every day, so we need to discuss some things now, while we have a chance.

(27) So, why would this be any different from Dad talking to me and saying the same things?

(57) Because I’m you and have been through all the stuff I’m trying to help you avoid. You ought to listen to yourself. You can say Dad doesn’t know you all that well, but I am you, so I couldn’t miss if I wanted to.

(27) And, yet, here you are, missing.

(57) That’s because you’re a bullheaded dumbass.

But, I don’t know. I might have convinced myself if I saw me 30 years later. Who knows? It didn’t happen, yet. Probably won’t. And I probably wouldn’t believe it if I had seen an older version of myself, because that kind of stuff only happens in science fiction movies. And because, all the experts say that if a self from the future comes in contact with a self from the past, it forms a paradox, which causes all of the universes to implode and makes your Cap’n Crunch taste like spinach and other horrible things.

And they know that, because????

Well, probably because it puts a new dimension into the time travel theme and keeps the movies interesting. But there has to be an element of truth to it, because it came from Hollywood, right? How can you lose with credentials like that?

Posted April 7, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

Self Discipline   Leave a comment

From Wikipedia:

Discipline is the suppression of base desires, and is usually understood to be synonymous with restraint and self-control. Self-discipline is to some extent a substitute for motivation. Discipline is when one uses reason to determine the best course of action regardless of one’s desires… Virtuous behavior can be described as when one’s values are aligned with one’s aims: to do what one knows is best and to do it gladly. Continent behavior, on the other hand, is when one does what one knows is best, but must do it by opposing one’s motivations. Moving from continent to virtuous behavior requires training and some self-discipline.”

And, that’s where I am now. Writing every morning would be continent behavior, right now, but would become virtuous behavior in the long run. That doesn’t count as anything I’m doing at the present moment. Doing it when it’s convenient is no where near doing it out of self discipline. My alarm goes off at 7:50 every morning, to indicate that it’s time to start writing. As often as not, I don’t, because it’s inconvenient. In a disciplined life, that is not a reason. As we can see from the past week, if I don’t do it at the appointed time, chances are, I won’t do it at all, because it’s all “inconvenient,” for one reason or another.

I can tell myself, “Yeah, I can do it later, because I will have all kinds of time.” But, the fact of the matter is, I have all kinds of time at the time I set aside. I may have to adjust it by 10 minutes if they don’t come up with a babysitter, pretty soon, but if I can’t find time to do it when I’m supposed to, chances are very slim that I will make time, later, to do it. I know this, because I know myself.

The only real reason not to do it would be because I didn’t really want to be a writer. Just like I didn’t really want to be a musician or a carpenter. Except that I did. But I lacked the self discipline to pursue those goals with any kind of earnesty. And, therefore, I never actually achieved either one of those goals.

Now would be the perfect time to change all that. My life is a blank slate, just waiting for me to fill it in with something. On one hand, I have never been so down. On the other hand, I have never had such an uninhibited opportunity to do whatever else I would like to do. I’m not able to be hired in any conventional capacity. But, then again, why would I want to be?

That’s something I have always settled for before, because it was easier to get employed by someone else than it was to blaze my own trail. It was the difference between a supposedly guaranteed paycheck (as long as I could remain employed) and the “great wide open” where nothing was certain, but the possibilities were endless.

Now, there is nothing but the “great wide open.” There is one other thing. I can sit here and watch TV and put off a better life for a more convenient time. Except, there has never been, nor will there ever be, a more convenient time than right now.

And, if I don’t do it, I will find myself, once again, regretting what I didn’t do before. Looking back on a lifetime of never trying anything other than what was given to me. In 36 years, I find myself with nothing left to do but lay there in my bed, wishing I had taken that chance, back when I was only 57 years old.

“Just live it” is something I believed when I was 20 years old. Now here I am, nearly two lifetimes later, finally at the point where it’s the only thing left to do, other than nothing, and I worry about what’s “convenient?” Nothing has ever been more convenient than it is right now.

If I do nothing, the checks will continue to get me by until I die. If I pursue something more than this, I will be able to gross $15,000 in earned income before they even touch my check. After which, they will take out ½ of what the amount over the 15 grand is.

Example: Say I make 17,000 in earned income. That’s 2,000 over the 15,000. The amount that they will hold against me is the 2,000. And they will divide that in half and take that amount out of my check. So my social security amounts to 14,000 instead of 15,000 that year. Boo hoo. That’s still $31,000, which is better than I did when I was working for a living and playing it “safe.”

Posted April 3, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

Happy Birthday to me (and other stuff)   Leave a comment

Hi. I started out this morning texting a friend on my Android. It has auto-correct on it, so it capitalizes things and modifies words that it thinks I misspelled and other fancy stuff. Then I get on here and left auto-correct behind, and everything gets screwed up. Considering the headache auto-correct can be sometimes, I kinda think I would rather not have it anyway. And then having to get used to not having it on my laptop…no, it’s not as traumatic as it seems. Actually, I have adjusted very well today, if I do say so myself, but I still get irritated.

So, because it’s my birthday (my 30th anniversary of being 27) I am not babysitting today. I am going to my sister’s place for pizza. Not sure what else. My sister-in-law is going to cut my hair. They’re bringing my recliner chair. With the chair it will be time to get a different table. Hopefully that will be soon.

I was looking for jeans today. I like low rise relaxed fit. Probably for the same reason that people like to sag their jeans. Except that I get nearly physically ill when I see that “style” (for lack of better terms). Levi’s discontinued 529’s 10 years ago. I guess they thought nobody would need them anymore.

Either that or they found out that I like them and decided to solve that problem. I think that happens pretty often. They did that with my favorite cologne. And the one before that. They do it with radio stations, flavored coffee in my town, musical instrument stores in my town, pizza places, you name it. If I like it, it’s outta here. It’s why I don’t publicize my love for all things Cap’n Crunch. (Note to self: please delete this post if this blog ever catches on)

So, I am still trying to fill a page with my writing. I didn’t do that yesterday, because I was pressed for time. I didn’t even write the day before yesterday. That’s still pretty good, all things considered, but it isn’t what I want, which is to write every day.

I have a special template on my LibreOffice with 1/2” margins so I can fill a page and usually not go over that. It isn’t something that I need carved in stone, it wouldn’t be tragic if I went over or under that, but it is a general guideline. I know that I have written “enough” when I fill the page. If I didn’t have this, I would never get around to doing it at all, or I would write half a dozen sentences and call it a blog. It’s working for me. I write nearly every day, and sometimes publish it. There are some things that I won’t publish. Too personal, too boring, too obnoxious. But, some things, I do publish.

Like this one.

I don’t know if it’s a good idea, or necessary, or whatever, to link brand names back to the websites that carry them. I’m doing it. If anybody has any idea about that, please let me know. It seems like the companies wouldn’t have a problem with it. I would kind of like to get some affiliate fees out of it if it’s possible, but that wasn’t really the reason I started doing this. It’s probably a way to cover my bases in case this ever gets to be a major thing. I read somewhere that if you want to be big, you have to think big. That’s pretty much where I am, right now. Thinking big. I have a long way to go. But, if I get there, it will be partially because I thought big.

I need to finish this soon because I have to clean house. Wash dishes, vacuum, hang clothes. All the things I wish I could hire out, but can’t. I don’t like it, but once I get started on it, it’s done in about an hour. Maybe an hour and a half if it’s really terrible. I don’t let it get really terrible.

Well, that depends on your perspective. My idea of really terrible is somewhat different from other people’s perspective on it. My sister walks in here and says “Randy, your place looks terrible,” no matter how it looks. What can you say to someone who washes her clothes and then folds them on the same day? Some people…

But, anyway, I am going to get this place straightened out today, because I have company coming and I want it to be wonderful. Or at least, relatively reasonable. By other people’s standards.

So, it’s been another day of writing whatever comes to mind. I started at 8:30 and now it’s 12:10. I didn’t spend the whole time writing. I also looked for jeans online and other stuff. Now I’m getting off here and starting the rest of my day. This is close enough to a full page. See ya.

Posted March 26, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

Rambling   Leave a comment

I didn’t wake up this morning until 5:30. That’s late. Not too late to get ready, but later than I like to wake up. Then, again, last night I went to bed relatively early, so I’m thinking it was necessary for me to sleep well last night. It was time for me to catch up. Tomorrow it will be back to normal. It wouldn’t hurt anything to go to bed early more often. That way, I can get up as early as I want. Primetime is so overrated when I can have my primetime first thing in the morning. I feel like I’m able to get more done when I do it in the morning. Whether I actually do, or not, is another question. I know that today I should be able to make it without falling asleep at any point.

I am rambling this morning. Fragmented thinking. I think that’s okay. I don’t have anything monumental to say. But I’m still writing. That’s a good thing. Writing even if you can’t think of anything to write will help. It’s the continuation of this, even when I “don’t wanna,” that develops it into something more. When I “don’t wanna” is the best time to do it anyway. I will be writing when I have something to say, and it will be amazing. Well, maybe not amazing. But better than this.

For my blog, I am going to say that every morning, I write. I set my alarm to start at 7:50 every morning, and I write something. I just started that a few days ago, so that I would remember to do it daily. I don’t publish it all, but I do write. At least, to store it on my hard drive. This morning, I decided to publish a portion of it. Not all of it, but some of it, anyway.

Posted March 23, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

Working title, for lack of better things   Leave a comment

You know, this doesn’t happen often enough. A month and 5 days ago, I wrote that I was going to start writing every day. And that portions of it were going to get posted to this blog pretty often. That was the idea, anyway. Since then, I’ve been trying to do other things.

It’s kind of embarrassing, because, in retrospect, it’s so stupid. I have a game on my tablet, called The Blockheads. I love this game. I installed it when I first got the tablet, in March of last year. I had spent 8 months building a world that, in my eyes, was pretty cool. I didn’t have any castles. As a matter of fact, all my characters lived underground. Nevertheless, it was still pretty interesting.

So, anyway, in December, my tablet stopped charging. The jack came loose (as they do on my type of tablet, if one isn’t careful), and I ended up having to send it in to have it fixed. Well, as it turned out, they don’t just replace the jack. They were going to replace the motherboard, but, ultimately, ended up replacing the whole tablet. Either way, my game was gone when the tablet came back. I tried to back up what I could before I sent it, and actually, I got my desktop settings and most of the other stuff back. But, the only thing they saved of my Blockheads game was the .apk file. I’m not sure what that is, but it doesn’t contain the progress of my game. So, I had to start over again.

On my new tablet, the game wouldn’t function the same. I would be building my world up, and then when it accumulated about 60 Mb of data, it would stop working. The app would close and wouldn’t re-open. I tried getting hold of Noodlecake, the company that administers the game, and we tried different things, but didn’t solve anything. Finally, the man told me he doesn’t know what else to do. If I come up with a solution, let him know.

So, I kept track of all the readings that my “The Blockheads” app thing showed when the game shut down. Didn’t really tell me much. It might have revealed the whole world to someone who understood it, but I didn’t see anything except a consistency of the data reading, which was always 55-65 Mb when the game quit. I still don’t know why. But I have a work-around for it, now.

I downloaded a program called Helium, formerly known as Carbon. It backs up all of your info, including data. I stop every once in a while, and back up the game. A couple times, it tried to pull the SOS on me. So, instead of clearing the data, I just recovered my backup, and it started up, right where I left off. As I said, it’s a work-around. The solution (which would involve having the game progress without having to remember to back it up every time I come to a milestone that I don’t want to lose) is still a mystery to me.

So, anyway, that is what I have been pre-occupied with for the past month or so.

Now, I need to take a moment to air out a pet peeve. I almost started to use the word “awesome” in this blog, and then backed out. Why? Well, it’s one of those words that used to mean something, and now means “pretty cool, sort of.” If we allow this, what are we going to say if the Heavens open up and Jesus reaches down to us with a hand the size of a football field? “Oh, wow, man, far out.” Even that meant something at one time in the past. Now we throw around words like that when the coffee is ready.

I mean, maybe I’m being too sticky with all this, but what would be the problem with just coming up with a new word for things that are just okay.

Like, “Well, sklrblgrf, there’s enough Cheerios left to fill my cereal bowl.” Nobody would say, “Oh, sklrblgrf, the ocean just turned into beer!” That’s what words like “awesome” are for.

So, sklrblgrf means “Yeah, I kind of like it.”

And, awesome means “Way, way, way, way, way cool!”

And spelling and pronouncing “sklrblgrf” differently from this would be pretty amazing, too.

I will add it to my list of “Fantastic things that should happen in my lifetime.”

Posted February 25, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized

The Human Factor   Leave a comment

Hello. It’s been a few days. I am going to write until at least 9:50. Actually, It will be closer to 10:00 when I factor in the bathroom breaks and getting up to get more coffee. That’s okay. It’s fine if it becomes more than 45 minutes. That is actually a good thing. Nothing at all wrong with that.
In fact, if only I would fall into a routine of doing this daily, this would be a little bit of nothing. It would be a great thing I do every day, that I take for granted. It would be a routine. I don’t do routines unless avoiding routines is a routine. But I need to break that routine to replace it with this one. Because this is my “ticket out of here.”

“Out of where?” you ask.

Out of here. Here is where I am stuck. I depend on my tiny social security check, which will remain tiny, and I depend on my Medicaid, which will become Medicare, shortly, and I depend upon my government subsidized apartment. I’ve always believed that government assistance is for people that need it. It should be available to those who need it. It should be saved for those who need it. And those of us who can rise above this and take care of themselves, should. That includes me. I am going to write for a living. I can and I will.

It’s snowing outside. I’m inside so I am enjoying it. That sounds selfish. It is selfish. Every human has his frailties. Mine is, among other things, self-centeredness. I think the tendency to fall into routines and take them for granted is in us. We are made that way.

An EMT saves lives. If it’s something that particularly stands out to him, he may remember it. But saving lives is typical to him. It happens because he went to work today. For someone who plays a different role, it is amazing. For an accountant or a gas station attendant, it’s a once in a lifetime high point. But to the EMT, it’s Wednesday.

It actually would be pretty amazing to feel that way. I don’t know what it’s like to do anything like that and actually feel like it’s just another day. It must be amazing. And if it happened to me, I would be the last one to know. The EMT can’t be amazed at what he does. If he was, he would be so full of himself that he couldn’t function properly.

I have always been afraid to be wonderful, for fear of being so wonderful that I think I’m better than everybody else. But, even an EMT is only human. Even though he gets to be a hero on a regular basis, there is always something to keep him humble. Maybe he isn’t quite as intelligent as a lot of people. Maybe he is, but eats too much. Or maybe not, but has an adrenaline addiction that causes him to jump off cliffs and see how close he can come to the earth before he must pull the cord. He may be addicted to caffeine, nicotine, alcohol…regardless of what he can accomplish, there is the human factor. There is something wrong with everybody.

Maybe I am fortunate for having been less than wonderful. Whether I could avoid being too conceited about it, if it didn’t manifest itself in one way, it would be another. I’ve realized before this, that if I wasn’t this, I’d be something else. What if I were an alcoholic, a drug addict, someone with a violent temper? What if I had done something that landed me in prison? Or maybe I would be perfect in every way except I would be convinced that “greater common good” means that “I’m greater, everybody else is common, and that’s good.”

Instead, I have the attention span of a mosquito. I think, for the first time ever, I’m glad of that. That doesn’t mean I can’t be better now. I just need to remember that things, thus far, have happened the way they should have. I have begotten Jamey, who has begotten Gracie, and they are both a part of my life, along with all the ones I haven’t begotten. They are all a part of my life that I wouldn’t be without, given a choice. My life is what it is. And it will be what it will be. It’s all by the grace of God.

It could be better in some ways, but it would be worse in others. I’d rather be my kind of bad than some other kinds that exist.

By the way, I didn’t get it published at 9:50 or 10:00 or noon. But I did get most of it written by noon, and proofread it and got it up by 3:25.

Posted January 20, 2016 by jrandallg in Uncategorized